When I was nine-years-old, there wasn’t anything I wanted more than a bicycle. My tenth birthday was in a week, and everyday, my Mother happily told me that she and Dad had saved up and gotten me a very special present. I was so excited because I knew that finally I would get my shiny red bicycle.
On the morning of my birthday, I ran downstairs and on the breakfast table laid an enormous, brightly wrapped box. My Mother and Father were beaming, and urged me to open it. So, I unwrapped my bigger-than-I-was World Book Of Knowledge. How was I going to ride that thing down the street?
My parents were so excited and happy with the gift, that I enthusiastically thanked them, excused myself (telling them I wanted to start reading it right away) lugged the albatross book to my room, and immediately shoved it under the bed. The following year I got my blue bicycle.
I enjoy shopping for gifts, and make it a rule never to give someone a present that I wouldn’t enjoy receiving myself. That’s why a few of the gifts I have purchased never got to the intended recipient. But I digress--
December is a heavy-duty gift-giving season. Some people give homemade bread, cookies, cakes, parsley. Yes, even parsley. I was told that two little girls found out that Aunt Bonnie liked parsley. They collected the garnish off of several dinner plates, put the green stuff into an envelope and mailed it to Aunt Bonnie, “With lots of love.”
Of course, December is a make or break opportunity for many merchants. However, it’s almost a new year, and stores are still offering big discounts. Owners are still touting their merchandise. Perhaps it would serve us well to take stock and separate the sublime from the ridiculous.
Some of the advertisements in my local newspaper have gone way overboard. “Come in and receive a free gift.” Aren’t all gifts free? Buyer, beware! I can understand why a store would urge you to buy an “adorable wallet”. After all, you do need a place to put your adorable credit cards, and that extremely cute money that they covet.
However, on the same page were “Discounted Holiday hearing aids.” You could get those just in time so you wouldn’t miss Aunt Shirley’s complaints about her gastritis at Holiday dinner. There were several other ads on that page. There was one for a “Decorative bone for Fido,” and a dentist urged, ”Stop tooth pain for the Holiday.” My favorite advertisement was one that promised, “Direct Cremation---$650 Complete.” Now there’s a gift, for that special someone, who has absolutely--- everything.
Esther Blumenfeld (Gift me the pleasure of your company)