Talk To Me

Friday, February 11, 2011 at 10:25AM
Esther Blumenfeld

The day my son said to me, “Mom, no one uses that word anymore,” and I replied, “I just did!” was the day I decided that the art of conversation has gone the way of callused thumbs. 

Tapping a text message requires no colorful language, no nuance and certainly no eye contact except with your cell phone. So, before all is lost here are some helpful hints for the conversationally challenged:

 It takes more than one person to have a conversation and,

1. It helps if one of you has something worthwhile to say. “I just flossed my teeth” is not stimulating chitchat.
2. Some people drone on because they find the sound of their own voice extremely entertaining. A drone is a pilotless missile.
3. Silence does not always require sound. Pregnant pause does not necessarily require delivery.

It seems as if everyone likes to talk, but few people listen. Maybe it’s because if you are the only one speaking, you don’t have to hear what the other person wants to say. Sometimes that can be a lifesaver, but listening can be illuminating. 

I often go to restaurants by myself, and have decided that eavesdropping is okay if the speakers at the next table have turned up their volume. However, out of compassion, I did tune out one couple after the woman exclaimed, “It’s not the eggroll Harold, it’s our whole life!” Not sure I wanted to hear the rest of that. 

Some people talk very fast. They are from New York. The rest of the world is not. Some people mumble. That is a great cover for being a teenager, not knowing the answer to a question or having a mouthful of pasta. 

My last two hints for the conversationally challenged are: 

1. Do not say, “Get to the point,” because you can’t assume that there is one.
2. Don’t start a conversation with, ”How are you?” You just might find out. 

Esther Blumenfeld (say what?)

 

 

Article originally appeared on Humor Writer (https://www.ebnimble.com/).