Webster defines the word “association” as an act of: ”associating, co-operation, fellowship, community, agreement, friendliness, partnership and camaraderie.”Obviously, he never lived in a house that included a homeowner association, or he would have added, “kerfuffle and brouhaha.”
Since 1964, homeowner associations have become a common irritant in the USA. In 2010, the Community Associations Institute estimated that HOAs governed 24.8 million American homes and 62 million residents. Associations provide services, compel homeowners to pay a share of common expenses, regulate activities, levy assessments and may, depending on state legislatures, impose fines. Association boards may appoint corporate officers, or officers may be elected by the membership---and then they have meetings---lot of contentious meetings.
Another survey, conducted by a home improvement trade organization of over 3000 people, discovered that two-thirds of the residents found their HOAs annoying, and 19% were in a declared “war” with their HOA. 54% said they’d rather live next to a “sloppy” neighbor than deal with their HOA. The problem in a nutshell is that neighbors are telling neighbors what they can and cannot do with their property. The only way it might work is if a disinterested management company is hired to do the dirty work, but then the board has to agree that everyone follow the rules.
So who in their right mind would agree to serve on an HOA board of directors? Absolutely no one! However, sometimes, unsuspecting lambs are led to neighborhood slaughter by being convinced they can provide an appreciated service.
A year after moving into my neighborhood, I agreed to serve as secretary on our HOA board with four old codgers who nurtured a long-time grudge against each other. After the first deluge of profanity, I brought a tape recorder to meetings. That helped with the language problem but not the dancing. When someone suggested that all homeowners should pay for their own water, one of the old guys did a Rumpelstiltskin jig screaming they’d have to take him out in a body bag first. He ended up paying for his water but not the baggie. I quit after a cocktail hour call from a woman accusing me of taking away her First Amendment rights. I never did find out what she was yelling about.
So here is the rationale that prompts people to seek this masochistic job:
Everyone should follow the rules to get along.
Everyone should follow the rules except me.
We should have no rules
We should save association money for a rainy day.
It doesn’t rain that much here, so we should spend all the money.
I used to be a school crossing guard, so I want that power again.
We need to hire professionals to fix things.
I am very handy and can fix anything with chewing gum.
I have been sent by a Higher Authority to save this neighborhood.
I miss kindergarten and enjoy throwing tantrums.
Esther Blumenfeld (hermits have the right idea)