I woke up with a headache. I heard a flock of birds tap-dancing on the skylight in my master bathroom. The alarm clock hadn’t awakened me, and my bedside phone charger light was off. After crawling around on the floor, checking electrical connections, it occurred to me to put on my glasses. I discovered that I had set the clock on “off” instead of “alarm,” the phone needed a new battery, and the only bird-brain around was me---because the tap-dancing turned out to be a torrent of rain hammering the skylight.
I plugged in the coffee maker and ran outside to get my newspaper. After hanging the newspaper on the drying rack in my garage, I tried to pour myself a cup of coffee, but discovered that I had forgotten to put water into the machine. Then I tried to balance my checkbook, but it refused to cooperate.
It was time for my dental appointment, and the dentist informed me that I needed a root canal. I drove in the rain to meet the root canal guy, who put an electric charge on my tooth. After peeling me off the ceiling, he said, “Your root is alive. You don’t need a root canal. You need a crown. That will be $98 please.”
Since I had saved $1200.00 with that bit of information, I decided to celebrate by buying a new pair of hiking shoes. The salesman said, “Your feet have grown. You need bigger size shoes.”
Got home and the red message light on my other phone was blinking. There were no messages, but the light refused to stop blinking. I called my Comcast bundle-bungle company. Someone in India zapped my modem. The light kept blinking. I unplugged my phone and took an aspirin. Had a quick lunch. I liked it. It didn’t like me.
Drove to the post office. Stood in line (on line for those of you in New York) for 20 minutes. Got to the window, and the postal clerk chirped, “Good Morning! How are you today.” I told him!
Esther Blumenfeld (“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.”) Marcus Aurelius.