My mother-in-law used to say, “Live long enough and you’ll see everything.” Well, just when I thought that, by now, I’d probably seen it all, I found out that she was absolutely right.

A friend and I, had a pleasant dinner, at a small local restaurant. Before leaving, to attend a play at a small theatre,  I decided to make a pit stop at the Lady’s Room. It was occupied, so I patiently waited, and then, I not so patiently waited some more. Finally, I tapped lightly on the door. No response. I waited some more, and still no one came out. Had someone fallen asleep on the commode?  Or, perhaps worse—Had someone fallen in?

Just as I was prepared to get some help, the door opened slowly, and a bent-over, old woman, wearing a shawl over her head exited.  She said. “It’s all yours.” I looked at her, and noticed that she was carrying a mesh bag that contained nothing but very large red onion. My mother-in-law was right!  I had never seen that before.

So, why would an old lady carry an onion into the bathroom? The question presents all kinds of possibilities. I know that some people take “comfort animals” on airplanes. Perhaps, this was her “Comfort Onion.”

Or, perhaps she hesitated to leave her pet onion at her table fearing that some onion thief would strike. It really didn’t look like a valuable onion to me. It was just a red onion in a mesh bag. I know that some people sneak a smoke in a public bathroom, but I have never seen anyone lighting up an onion.

On my way back to my table, I looked for the old crone, but she was nowhere to be found. I guess she and her onion had left for another adventure.

Oh, where is Hercule Poirot when you need him?

When I returned to my table, I said to my friend, “You’re not going to believe this!”

She didn’t!

So it goes.

Esther Blumenfeld