When moving into a newly built building everything in an apartment is brand new, and just waiting to be tested out by those moving in. Sometimes this can prove to be quite an adventure.

My new neighbor and friend, Roxanne was waiting for the elevator to take her to her apartment, when a maintenance man joined her for the ride up.  He said, “Is your toilet flushing properly now?” “Yes,” she replied. “But I have a very strange problem with the shower in my second bathroom. It has no hot water. There’s hot water in the other bathroom shower, and in both bathroom sinks, but none in that bathroom shower.” He said, “You are right. This is unusual, I’ll come with you to see what is going on.”

Sure enough, when he turned on the hot water faucet in the uncooperative shower, there was no hot water. However, when he turned on the cold water faucet the water came out steamy hot. “Someone (no one has identified the guilty party) has installed these faucets backwards.” He added, “Your hot water is cold, and your cold water is hot.”

That is a bad trick to pull on an old person, because if I were to tell people that my hot water is cold and my cold water is hot, someone would probably throw a net over my head and shout, “She’s losing it!”

But Roxanne’s sad story doesn’t end there. She said, “It’s lovely that the garbage disposal is so quiet.” The maintenance Guru replied,”Yes, you have to put your ear near the sink to hear it.” At that, he turned on the disposal and  stuck his head into her sink. After, a few minutes, he popped his head out of the sink and said, “You are right. This disposal is really quiet. It’s not connected!”

After disposing of that problem, he should have stopped right there, but then he said, “These glass topped stoves are great. You turn off the burners and the glass is cool.” Meekly, Roxanne responded, “I don’t think so.” But, he had already placed his hand on the recently used front burner.

Stifling an obscenity, he ran out of her apartment. He didn’t even bother to inquire about her dishwasher,  refrigerator or washing machine. Oh, well—Tomorrow is another day.

Esther Blumenfeld