EXPLODING PILLOWS
Friday, December 24, 2021 at 10:37AM
Esther Blumenfeld


Since it’s party time, and so many of you enjoyed my horseback adventure on a ranch in Uruguay, I thought I’d share with you the best outdoor party I have ever attended. It was held in a place called Punta Tombo in Patagonia, Argentina at the Southern most tip of South America.

All of the males and females at the party wore tuxedos except for me. My son, Josh said, “Mom, you are not wearing a raincoat to that party!” and he sent me a warm Gore-Tex jacket.
As I walked up the steep hill toward the get-together, I heard what I thought was the braying of donkeys, but soon discovered that it was the welcoming sound made by thousands of Magellanic molting Penguins. I don’t know what they sound like after they replace their feathers, but since they were not yet waterproof, they had to stay on land for 2 to 3 weeks more, and I was privileged to walk among them.

I was lucky because it was near the end of the “catastrophic molt” and their appearance didn’t look like “exploding pillows” or “sweaters with holes in them.” These Penguins  had no fear of humans, so although I was forbidden to touch them, they’d run around and over my feet, and waddling along they had the right of way. One little fellow looked up at me and I think he said, “I’ll never be as tall as a Giraffe, but I’m a lot cuter, and I can shoot poop 3 feet up into the air to keep my nest clean.” You don’t see that in the movie HAPPY FEET.

“Walk like a Duck, quack like a Duck—you are a Duck” Waddle like a Penguin, blow salt out of your nose like a Penguin—you just might be a Penguin. Unlike some humans, Penguins mate for life. They reconnect with the same partner at the same burrow every year. The females recognize their mates by their calls such as, “Over here Ferdinanda.” I assume that some Penguins are named after the explorer Ferdinand Magellan who spotted them in 1520.

Looking down at the sea, I saw thousands of Penguins, on the vast beach, oiling their new feathers, as they prepared to return to the ocean to hunt for their dinner after a long fast. They eat krill, squid and yummy fish. Once the breeding season is over Magellanic Penguins go North to vacation in the waters of Peru and maybe the topless beaches of Brazil. It is a vacation after all!  And then, they return to Patagonia to breed, change into new tuxedos and carry on into March, when the chicks are mature enough to leave the colonies.

When I left the party, I reluctantly  said goodbye to my charming little hosts, wished them a good trip, and then changed from my adventuresome Gore-Tex Jacket back into my civilized  boring raincoat.

Esther Blumenfeld

Article originally appeared on Humor Writer (https://www.ebnimble.com/).
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