A JOB IS A JOB
Friday, September 10, 2021 at 10:34AM
Esther Blumenfeld


As a child, I don’t think I ever received an allowance unless you count the five cents I got from  my Father, the tooth fairy. Being a 5-year-old entrepreneur, I recognized an opportunity since I had several  loose teeth. My business partner, Teddy who was 8-years-old, offered to pull my remaining loose teeth, so we’d have enough money for ice cream. When I presented my second tooth to my Father, he gave us 10-cents if we promised to end our business venture.

As time went on, any money I received I’d have to earn. When I was 10-years-old, I was hired by my parents for my first baby-sitting job. I’d watch my one-year-old brother who was asleep in his crib, while they went next door to visit our neighbors. Unfortunately, the sleeping baby woke up crying as soon as they left. I figured that he’d stop crying if I picked him up. Unfortunately, I couldn’t reach him since I was short. The side of his crib gate was up, and I didn’t know how to lower it. So, I climbed up and stood on the lower rung of the crib gate, and leaned over to pick him up. Whoops! my knee got stuck in-between the slats. I couldn’t step up or back down. Now, both of us were crying! Finally, I un-wedged my knee, stepped down and called my folks. That was the most painful 10-cents I ever earned.

Other than baby sitting gigs for 15-year-old kids jobs were hard to find, but I finally found work in a store that sold baby clothes. My job was to stock shelves and fold clothes, but never to wait on anyone unless the other clerk was busy. However, I was forbidden to ring up a sale.That was left to the owner of the store. She had a suck-on-a-lemon face with a disposition to match. I earned 75-cents an hour—better than the 35-cents an hour I could earn baby sitting, and surely better than pulling out my teeth. I put up with a lot from the sour owner of the store, but when she handed me a toilet plunger and told me to take care of the over-flowing toilet, I said, “No, Thank You!” and left.

Life got serious when I had to find a good part-time job to help pay for my college tuition—not an easy task living in a small town. However, I was able to line up a 4-year summer stint in men’s pants. Hang On! It wasn’t that exciting. I got an office job at a men’s trouser factory, and earned $3.00 an hour. After the 3rd year, my salary was raised to $3.50. My job was to take the place of office workers when they went on vacation. I discovered that typing on a manual typewriter for 8 hours a day was cruel but not unusual punishment. Every morning I punched in on a clock and my favorite part of the day was punching out.

When the order person went on vacation, I was assigned to stand (not sit) for 8 hours in the cavernous, spooky warehouse and put orders in the right slots—IN or OUT.  The orders  would  then magically be shot up somewhere into outer space. I only worked that job for one day, because somehow some of the IN were shot into OUT.  It was dark in that warehouse.

One day, I arrived at work and there was a big picket line in front of the factory. The angry workers were shouting and waving what looked like scissors and stuff. I was afraid to walk through the picket line, but my tuition was due and I needed that paycheck. Meekly, I asked one of the workers, “Is it okay if I go into the office?” She looked at me and said, “Go ahead, Honey!  No one wants your job!“  Hell!  I didn’t want my job.

In today’s newspaper “Part Time Jobs for College Students” was listed. Here is my take on them.  TUTOR: “Help students improve their understanding of class material”— (and if they just don’t get it, do their homework for them  if you want your)—” $14 to $21 per hour.”

NANNY: “Assist parents with day to day raising of their children,”—-( and don’t get your knee stuck in a crib slat.)— “$11 to $17 per hour.”

DRIVER: “Responsible for getting people (or stuff) from one place to another.”—-(without getting lost)—“$9 to $15 per hour.”

FOOD SERVER: “Work in eateries. Part of the income is based on tips.”—-(So, pretend to be a nice person.)—-“$9 to $13 per hour.”

No matter what job you have—NO JOB IS PERFECT!  But, I can promise you, that if you have never experienced the bumpy road to success you have either inherited the business, or you never sold your teeth.

Esther Blumenfeld


Article originally appeared on Humor Writer (https://www.ebnimble.com/).
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