An article in the September PARADE MAGAZINE was titled, “5 Things I Didn’t Learn Until I Was 50.” The author, Paula Spencer Scott mentioned that by 50 most of us know how to “do laundry and scramble eggs.” Not necessarily!
After being married for several years, one day I asked my PhD, research professor husband, Warren to put a load of laundry into the washing machine. He carried the clothes out of the room and came back carrying the same load. Then he asked,”Which one’s the washing machine? So much for that assumption!
Scott then wrote that it’s important to learn how to breathe. I always knew that as long as you are breathing it’s a good start for the day. Of course since we all breathe oxygen we have much in common.Yes, I know that she meant deep breathing—inhaling air down to the belly through the nose. Unfortunately, she didn’t mention exhaling which I think prevents explosions. “Breathe in. Breathe out.” If you forget that, you can skip the meditation part. Even a bottle of wine has to breathe.
Her next advice was to, “Learn how to sit” which involves sitting down and then getting back up without wobbling. Some people’s idea of exercise is a good, long sit. If you’re going to do that—Do it right! That means using thighs, butt and abdomen to power stability without waving your arms around. Perhaps, she should have added that sitting and standing up is much easier without drinking more than one martini.
Then she tackled the problem of standing while not looking like a “crooked stick.” She advised putting 60% of your weight on your heels— with the next 40% using the toes—so you won’t fall over backward. Once you have mastered how to stand properly you are ready for a long walk to the refrigerator which is more fun than walking over a bed of hot coals.
Assuming that you are no longer wobbling, proper walking has its own challenges such as “chest out,” and “shoulders down and back.” Then you should be stepping “heel to toe, heel to toe.” If you a walking “toe to heel, toe to heel” you are not walking—you are dancing—and not very well at that! Swinging your arms is important—“opposite arm to opposite leg. If you use the left arm out with the left leg and the right arm out with the right leg, you might be mistaken for a Zombie.
The last bit of advice that the author gave was an instruction on, “How to Smile.” Obviously, a grimace is not acceptable. I think that if you haven’t learned how to smile until you reach 50, that you have a very bad attitude—or very bad teeth. Granted, smiling is good for you, but smiling at nothing seems a bit spooky, because what do you say when someone asks, “What are YOU, smiling at?”
If you walk around with a silly smile on your face, out of context, you just may be asking for a punch in the nose which just might affect your breathing, standing and walking. However, if you have good posture you just might land on your seat. Therefore, I recommend that you might want to wait before moving those mouth muscles into an upward curve until you have something to smile about such as, “I Was Smart Before I Turned 50!”
Esther Blumenfeld