In order to help pay for my college tuition, I worked for pittance during the summer in the office of a men’s trouser factory. During my Junior year, the owner of the factory announced his retirement, and that his son would now take over the operations.

However it turned out that for two reasons it was difficult for the son to hold the reins. The first was that many of the employees had known him since he was a child, and the old-timers still called him, “The Kid.” Secondly, the “Old Man” had trouble letting go of the reins, and became “semi-retired.”

I have never understood “semi-retired.” For me, retirement means that you leave what you are doing, and now you focus on your own world in a different way—doing things you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the time to explore. Kind of like a semi-truck. When retired, you can detach the tractor unit from the trailer unit, and the tractor part of you can proceed without the trailer.

I don’t think I am responsible for running people out of their professions, but lately so many of my old faithfuls have left me. For instance, after my last colonoscopy, my proctologist retired and left town. He always told me that I had a “tortured colon.” I guess now I have to take twists and turns with a new fellow.

Then my dentist retired, and I had to find another one of whom my insurance company approved.  I am sure he’s a good  dentist, but I rarely see him.  I only see his technician twice a year who thinks I am a “good flosser.”

My accountant retired, so I found an excellent fellow who was recommended by my new broker.  My former broker moved to Texas where he is probably rounding up cattle instead of clients.  I made sure that my new accountant and new broker are as young as my son.  After all, how many more  professional folks should I be expected to train?  

After operating on my cataracts, my Ophthalmologist liked it so much that he moved to the other side of town and is now only performing surgeries.  So, now I have another doctor who looks deeply into my eyes.

The latest person on my, “So you’re the new guy” list is my attorney who was a colleague of my former retiring attorney. Since this was an opportunity to review my estate and what to do after I’m  dead  paperwork, I proceeded to update everything. That was no fun at all! After the paperwork was finally signed and delivered, I told my new attorney,”I hope I never see you again!”  I think he thought I was kidding.

Now my Rabbi (which means teacher) is on the slippery slope of retirement, but I guess that rabbis, priests and ministers never really retire. It just means they won’t have to go to so many meetings.

My brother, David just retired after helping hundreds of people for many years as a Family Counselor. He is now relishing his non-schedule, relaxing and enjoying everyday with his family. That is a good beginning on the road to retirement. After all, if you do it right, shouldn’t  retirement actually be—- the best job you’ve every had?

Esther Blumenfeld (“Why is it when a man retires, and time is no longer a matter of importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch?”)