This morning when I opened my newspaper two headlines captured my interest: “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” and, “HATE SPEECH IS THRIVING!” With this news, obviously the world of bigotry and conspiracy theories offer  good will toward none. How’s that for sucking the magic out of the Season?

Haters can’t be very happy people, because they are so judgmental and their associations are so limited. It is a given that their friends are carbon images of themselves, and hatred is as contagious as the plague. With so much negativity how can there be a healthy path to friendship?

For me, there is nothing more valuable than having an assortment of  friends, and accepting people, and their differences, just the way they are. I have found that if you live and let live, and don’t expect too much, you can collect an assortment of friends who illuminate your path in life in a most positive way. If you have a couple of true friends, you can count yourself lucky, but that doesn’t mean you can’t also surround yourself with other people who add something positive to your life. That’s a form of friendship too.

I have a friend with whom, it seems on the surface, that I have little in common. Someone once asked me, “How can you be friends with her? You don’t play golf or bridge, and you don’t belong to a country club?” I said, “You are right, we don’t share any of those things, but when we do get together we have fun!”

Sometimes, a friendship will suffer a natural demise. For instance, when you are thrown together for a common purpose such as elementary school PTA. Eventually, the kids grow up and apart, and the parents are no longer car-pooling or baking cookies. Sometimes, it’s natural to let go.

When I was a little girl, I was playing outside with my best friend, Leigh Ann, and for some reason she became angry and  bit me on the arm. That’s when I learned who my friend really was. I also learned not to discard people— but to put them gently aside— unless you want to get repeatedly bitten.

As the years pass, it is wise to stay in touch with friends of long standing, because you don’t know how much longer that will be. So how can you tell if someone is a real friend? Elbert Hubbard said it best, “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

Consequently, if you are wrapped up in the spirit of seasonal magic, put away your message board and platforms and pick up a real phone and call a friend.  There is no substitute for a voice to voice connection. If you want a friend..be a friend!  Tell that person how much you appreciate having him or her in your life, because as Woodrow Wilson said, “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.

Esther Blumenfeld