There are all kinds of adventures, but none quite like putting your car into “Park” and not being able to remove the key from the ignition. I pulled and grunted and pulled and grunted and was finally able to remove the key. When I told my friend, the engineer about my problem, he said, “Bring me a pencil.” He rubbed the tip of the pencil on the key, and like magic, it went in and out with no problem. Pencils contain Graphite. So, I purchased a tube of Graphite to insert into the ignition hole. That’s when I learned that the lead in pencils is a lot cleaner than the soot that shot out of that tube. Consequently, I looked as if I had just emerged from a coal mine.

My key behaved for two weeks until I went shopping for shoes. I arrived at the store, parked the car and the key shouted, “I’m not coming out of this hole. Think of all of the  money you will save!” I drove back home.

 Since I couldn’t remove the key, I called the Car Doctor, and made an appointment to take my little eighteen-year-old, 82,000-mile Saturn to the dealership, After all, my little car had earned an A+ when it had been serviced three weeks before.  However, I couldn’t get an appointment for two days, so I had to leave the key in the car. No problem! I always park next to very expensive cars. Why would a thief want my car when he could get his mitts on a brand new Jaguar?

The morning of my appointment, I arrived at my parking place. I pointed the car door opener at the car, but nothing happened. So, I put the key into the door, sat down and tried to start the engine. Again, nothing happened! It didn’t even snort or growl. Silence is not always golden.
I returned to my apartment and called AAA. Perhaps, I had a dead battery or a pack rat  had nibbled on the wires, or I had to be towed—not me—the car!

The white-bearded AAA man arrived in 10 minutes. I was thrilled!  They had sent Santa Claus to help me. He calmed me down, opened the hood, “boosted” something and the car purred like a kitten sniffing catnip. I drove the car to the dealership, pulled into the “Service”Entrance, and got in line with the other sick cars, and turned off the engine. When I was told to: “Pull up the car!” I yelled, “I can’t do that.” The service guy yelled back, “What do you mean, you can’t do that?” I replied, “My car refuses to get out of Park.” He shouted, “You have to get it out of Park, and into Drive.” “You do it “ I yelled back.

The Car Doctor, also was unable to remove the key from the lock. She gave me the diagnosis. I was informed that the problem could have one of two cures: Number 1 involved a part in the warehouse in Tucson (where I live). Number 2 involved a part in a warehouse in Los Angeles (where I don’t live.) Rudy, the kind and sympathetic dealership driver, drove me home.

EPILOGUE

Got a call the next day. THE GOOD NEWS: The problem is not with the ignition. THE BAD NEWS: The problem is with the “Shifter Assembly.” THE GOOD NEWS: “The part they need for surgery is in the warehouse in Tucson. THE GOOD NEWS: Rudy will pick me up.

HOORAY! I am no longer shiftless.

Esther Blumenfeld