What part of “NO” don’t you understand?

Every language has a word for “No.”  In English those two little letters can deliver a powerful punch. For instance, often politicians with jellyfish brains deliver a version of “No,” that affords them a feeling of empowerment.  However, often they are surprised when their “NOs” are countered with  community voices that shout..” NO! Not Ever!” Those “NOs” can come from around the world such as “Non,” “Net,” “Nie,” “Nein” or the Ukrainian “Ni!”

So when did you last use the powerful “NO” in your life?  Sometimes it’s a hard word to spit out, but once you do it, you will get better at it. “NO” gets easier if you remember that if you don’t say it, you just might have to say, “YES.”

Many years ago, just after I had become engaged to be married, I returned to the University and received a call from a young man who asked me out on a date.  I replied, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to go out with you because I am engaged.” He replied, “That’s no problem. How about next week?” Whereupon I replied, “I can’t because I am engaged permanently.”  To this day, I don’t know if he ever got it, but I hope his ego didn’t get a permanent hit.

Rejection is a fact of life for professional writers.  I learned not to take it personally, and I also learned that sometimes “NO” really has nothing to do with you. For instance, when I submitted an article to FAMILY CIRCLE MAGAZINE, it was rejected. However, the two editors who had read my story had inadvertently left their messages to each other in the rejection letter. This is what they said: “Myrna, this article is hilarious, I think it is a one pager, and we can get it for $500.00.  What do you think?”  Myrna replied, “Yes, it is extremely funny, but do we need humor?”

Saying, “NO” can be really difficult because you don’t want upset another person, but keep in mind that your time is valuable. When you say “NO” you are giving yourself permission to spend your time the way you either need or want to.

If you are still hesitant to say “NO” when speaking English, you can always get around it by smiling, lifting a draught of Guinness Stout and toasting the other person with a  hearty Irish “Nil.” If that doesn’t work try the Spanish—“NO way Jose!”

Esther Blumenfeld