Piranha Days

Ever had a day when seemingly small aggravations accumulate and voraciously attack and nibble your good humor away? Well, I did.

All I wanted was a piece of toast, but the wrapping broke, and hundreds of tiny breadcrumbs hit the counter---then the floor---and then imbedded themselves into the throw rug in front of the kitchen sink. After washing the counter and floor, I opened the front door to shake out the rug, and an extraordinarily large bee flew into the room. Consequently, I ran around the house swatting at the invader with the throw rug, until I knocked the wind out of the little sucker. I threw the bee back outside, where he belonged, and slammed the door shut behind him. Now, I had to vacuum the bedroom rugs and dust the furniture that was anointed with breadcrumbs.

All I wanted was a piece of toast.

Sometimes the simplest things seem to take on a life of their own. First, my stapler jammed, and then my checkbook wouldn’t balance.  I ran to the bank to get a recent printout. All the numbers matched, and my checkbook still wouldn’t balance. I never have problems balancing my checkbook. I use a calculator. I think the calculator hates me. The mail arrived at 12:01 p.m., and there was a $385 error on my water bill. The water office closed at noon and wouldn’t open again until Monday.

I needed new cartridges for my printer and ran to the store, because they had sent me a discount coupon. The coupon had expired. I was on time to meet a friend for lunch at our favorite restaurant. The restaurant closed without notice the night before.

Happy to escape the madness, I boarded a flight to Providence, Rhode Island, which was booked to fly me from Tucson to San Francisco. United Airlines wanted me to see the West Coast before heading east. I fastened my seat belt and heard an announcement that there would be a delay, because the pilot couldn’t “boot up the computer.” I shouted, “Call a guy in India,” but no one paid attention to me. Two guys boarded and flipped pages in their manuals and figured out how to boot us up. When I arrived in Providence at midnight, I collapsed into a taxi and told the driver to take me to the hotel. He said, “It’s only a block away. Take the limousine.” I said, “I have been flying all day, I am not getting out of your cab. Take me to the hotel.” He said, “I can’t make any money that way.”  I said, “You will make money, and I gave him a $4.00 tip on a $3.00 cab ride.

It was just one of those days.

 Esther Blumenfeld (Once you get out of bed, you have to go the distance)