Snakes Alive

A few weeks ago, my eight-year-old neighbor brought over her yellow corn snake for me to admire. “You’re the only grown-up I know who like snakes,” she said, as, in awe, I gently petted the beautiful creature that she had slung around her neck.

Just as there is a difference between a tabby and a cougar, there’s a difference between a corn snake and a rattler, and I know to keep my distance from the latter. In Tucson, the fire department will send a brave fire fighter to catch a snake when it ventures into a residential neighborhood, and then he releases it far away into the desert. So, when I saw a large diamond back rattlesnake scooting across my back yard, I called the fire department. The dispatcher promised that the snake catcher would show up in 15 minutes, but he had one call ahead of mine. I opened my back door and yelled, “Stay!” at my reptile intruder.

Forty-five minutes later, a twelve-year-old dressed in fireman’s garb arrived with oversized gloves, long tongs and a big wooden box. Naturally, by now, my snake was long gone. The fireman poked at several bushes and apologized saying, “I caught 2 snakes before getting here, but couldn’t locate the last rattler either.” I replied, “That was probably the reptile with a cell phone, who called my snake to warn him that you were coming.”

After he left, I phoned my neighbor who has a dog the size of a peanut, and warned her that she should probably find a better place than her backyard for that little thing to lift his leg.

Dusk had arrived and a gentle rain began to wash over the walk in my front yard. I glanced down and saw a big snake peeping back at me. This time I had a closer view. I realized he was not a rattlesnake after all---just a Mexican King Snake. He stuck out his tongue, with a “fooled you!” wiggle before he disappeared into the shrubbery.

So, here’s the difference between probability and possibility.  It is probable that it was the same snake. It is possible that the first snake had a twin brother.  It is a certainty that I was sober.

Esther Blumenfeld (so many snakes and not an apple in the house)