It's Been Quite A Ride

I was my mother’s weird child, and more than once in exasperation, she’d exclaim, “I hope you get a child just like you!” Well, she got her wish. Only, I’m proud to report that my son, Josh was always much better at “otherness” than I ever was. Of course, his Dad was a strange and wondrous fellow, who used to tell me, “It’s good that we found each other, because I doubt if anyone else would have us.”

Josh is approaching a special birthday, so indulge me when I introduce you to this young man, who, over the years, has taken me on quite a parental ride. Even as a child he had a wry sense of humor and a gift for understatement. I learned early on that he will begin a statement with information such as, “The trip to camp was fun,” and then it becomes more complicated when he adds---“after we put out the fire on the bus.”

When he was a graduate student at the  Institute for Environmental Studies at the University of Wisconsin, he told his Dad and me that his major professor had invited us to his home for dinner, so naturally we dressed appropriately for the occasion. However, Josh failed to mention that his famous professor lived at the edge of the wetlands, and that we were going to slog through the marsh looking for rare plants and beasties. His Dad, dressed in a suit, helplessly sank up to his ankles in muck, and I never did see any critters, although I could hear them, and later found a creepy crawly in my shoe.

Then Josh took flight lessons. When I telephoned to ask him how he was doing he said, “Great! I love flying. I just have to perfect my landings.” A mother does not want to hear that!

When he was Editor of Publications at the National Wildflower Research Center in Austin, Texas, Lady Bird Johnson invited him and his co-workers to her house for lunch. After lunch, she said, “The television in my bedroom isn’t working.” Then, pointing at Josh, she said, “You, please go fix it.”  Josh is almost as handy as his father, who once changed a light bulb in our apartment in Chicago---and the entire city went dark. Gamely, he ventured into the bedroom, stared at the television set and noticed that one of the connections was loose. Triumphantly, he reported that he had fixed the set. However, from that day on Josh said, “I live in constant fear that her washing machine will go on the fritz.”

Josh had a successful run as an actor in New York City as a member of a repertory ensemble. In one of his roles, he played a villain in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. After the play closed, he came home for a visit, and when I picked him up at the airport, he told me that he’d have to get the stitches removed from his arm. “What stitches? What happened?” I yelled. “Well,” he began, “most people don’t know about the curse of Macbeth.” “What is the curse of Macbeth?” I asked.

He replied, “Because of all of the sword action in the play, someone usually gets hurt.” “And you got cut with the blade?” I asked. “No,” he replied, “It was the pommel on top of the grip. Another actor grabbed me, and while we were wrestling it sliced an artery.” “Don’t look so worried,” he added, “it was at the end of the play and the audience didn’t know the difference. The stage blood looked just like mine. They rushed me to the hospital, and the best part was that doctors came from all over the hospital to look at me.” “Oh, My God!” I replied. “It must have been a terrible cut.” “No,” he said, “They didn’t come to look at the cut. They couldn’t get over how real the scar on my face looked.”  

After his adventure in New York, he returned to graduate school at the University of Colorado in Boulder for a degree in Journalism. During this time he was awarded a Colorado Press Association scholarship for a summer internship at The Durango Herald Newspaper. One of his assignments was to cover the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic, and the only way to cover this 50- mile, 20,000 pedal stroke, 6,650-foot mountain climb in the most rugged mountains in Colorado was to participate.

He rented a Cannondale road bike that “cost more than my car and weighed less than my water bottle.” “By the time I reached Purgatory, parts of my body were numb that normally aren’t,” he reported. Then he wrote, “The descent into Silverton was one of the scariest rides, I’ve ever taken. Gravity pulled the Road Rocket downhill at speeds faster than the posted speed limit.” With only a lightweight helmet, a thin racing jersey and shorts, Josh rode 35m.p.h. down the mountain. He earned bragging rights. I got a rash.

After graduation, he became an, On Air, Tornado Alley Meteorologist, and I could watch him on my computer being whipped about in blizzards and drenching storms. “Don’t worry, Mom,” he said, “I’ve had storm spotter training and severe weather workshops.” He was literally on the fast track.

He blew out of that job and is now in Washington, DC with his new bride, Barbara. So what did they do on their honeymoon? Sounds as if it was lots of fun!  “We swam with the sharks and stingrays.” My new daughter’s life will never be boring.  I think the adventure is just beginning. Happy Birthday, Son!

Esther Blumenfeld (Hear that beat? It’s the different drummer)