Are You Sure?

On my calendar, I noted that my cousin Dan is going to celebrate his 69^th birthday. However, his mother told me that he would be 70. In spite of her memory problems, I figured that she should know the age of her son, so I sent him a “Now You’re 70” birthday card. Inside, I wrote, ”If I am wrong, keep this card for next year.”

So what are you supposed to do when you’re not sure? There is an old saying, “When you don’t know what to do---do nothing.” That is good advice unless you have your back to the wall and have to make a decision.

At the office where I volunteer, I snagged my sweater on a nail sticking out of a wall. Since I couldn’t find a hammer, I had to decide, ”Do I leave the nail sticking out to snag the next person?”  Nope! I grabbed a scotch tape dispenser off of someone’s desk, turned it upside down and banged the sucker into the wall. So what if the dispenser will be forever a bit lopsided! I made a decision, will accept the consequences, and hope that the person who sits at that desk won’t notice his crooked tape dispenser.

We all know people who can’t make up their minds. Never ask them, “Where do you want to go for dinner?” because you will never find out. And, whatever you do, don’t go shopping with an indecisive friend. I can promise that after several hours of shopping, when she finally finds a dress that looks good on her, she will hem and haw about finding an outfit that; “might look better,” “might be cheaper” or that she “might have something in her closet she can wear one more time.” When in a quandary, my advice is to pick something. Sometimes there is no wrong choice, unless you pick an outfit made by Omar the tent maker.

My father was running late for an appointment. As he was dashing out of the house, my mother handed him a bag with the admonition, “Don’t forget this!” He got in the car and tossed the bag into the back seat. He arrived at his office, put the bag on his desk and decided not to open it until after his meeting. Later that day, he called my mother and said; “I’ve got the garbage.  Do you have my lunch?” It’s always good to know what’s in a bag before you decide what to do with it.

I was sitting next to a young mother on an airplane, when she suddenly asked me if I would please hold her crying infant for just a minute, while she retrieved something from the overhead compartment. Making a snap decision, I said, “Sure.” Turns out that the article she retrieved was a diaper bag. In that “minute” I ended up with a damp lap and a suit that smelled like spit up.

Sometimes decisions do have stinky consequences.

Esther Blumenfeld (“Maybe” is not a decision)