Meow! Meow!

Paula Poundstone said, “The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.”

And, that’s about all I knew about cats until my son, Josh and daughter-in-law, Barbara went to work, and I was left in a house in the woods with their 14.2 pound Norwegian Forest Cat named Radar.

The word radar was coined in 1941 coming from radio detecting and ranging---an apt name for a creature who made a bee-line from the other room, jumped on the kitchen table, stuck his nose against mine and purred, ”I saw you take that English muffin. Share it or you die!” I knew I shouldn’t feed a cat anything that didn’t match the carpet, so I ignored him. At that, he jumped off the table and left for parts unknown. I didn’t know the meaning of rejection until a cat snubbed me.

Long ago, in some societies, people used to worship cats. I don’t know of any people, even long ago, who ever worshipped hamsters. So, I decided that perhaps I was missing a religious experience by not spending more time with Radar. After all, Sigmund Freud said, “Time spent with cats is never wasted.” But first I had to find the elusive creature.

Whoever said, “Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you later” was right! I tried, “Here Kitty, Kitty,” but that cat wasn’t about to be called, “Kitty.” I did know two things about Radar. He likes to climb, so he can view a room from the ceiling, and he enjoys a good nap. I finally found him napping on the bed in the Master Bedroom.

Naps are always a good idea, so I went downstairs, turned on the TV (to the British channel) wrapped myself in a blanket and fell asleep on the sofa---only to be awakened by two green eyes staring down at me from the back of the sofa. Maybe I had commandeered his favorite blanket, or maybe Radar is an anglophile, but we ended up together watching Sherlock Holmes solve another crime. I knew I wasn’t allergic to cats and was relieved to discover that Radar, my new best buddy, wasn’t allergic to me either.

At the end of the day I decided that cats are very smart animals. They are certainly smarter than camels. I have never met anyone who’s ever tried to ride a cat.

Esther Blumenfeld (“If cats could talk they wouldn’t.”) Nan Porter