Backing Up

I have never liked class reunions because they are too much like jogging backwards. I prefer remembering my classmates, and the good times we had, frozen in my memory, as they were those many years ago. Bennett Cerf said, “Middle age is when your classmates are so grey, wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.”

A reunion is “an assembly of people who have been separated.” Sometimes the separated part is a really good thing. My husband’s high school was in a very tough mill town. “BYOB” was written on the bottom of his reunion invitation. He said, “They want me to bring my own bottle for the fight after we all get together.”

I enjoyed my high school years and have stayed in touch with a few old (and getting older) chums. However, in many instances old friends are like old shoes. Some just don’t fit anymore.

Instead of attending my high school class reunion a few years ago, I paid $25 for a video of the reunion. It was the best $25 I have ever spent. I watched people I didn’t recognize milling about, and wondered why one of my classmate’s mother attended our reunion. Then I realized it wasn’t her mother---it was she! I watched a fellow, who used to play “Blue Moon” on his trombone, try out his skill as a hypnotist. He tried to hypnotize 10 people in the front row. I dozed off immediately, but when I woke up 20 minutes later, he finally broke into a sweat and gave up. He should have stuck to the trombone.

I pulled out my old yearbook to see if I could recognize more of those people on my video, since some of them had probably scribbled, “Best of Luck” in it, and told me that I was “Swell.” A few of them might even have spelled my name right. The photos were of young kids. I didn’t want to see even one recent photo or hear about the arrest record that accompanied it.

Our past class president, a really nice man, was suckered into planning the reunion. Mr. Google provides several hints to making this kind of get-together as painless as possible. Here are some of the Google suggestions:

 1.   “Look for memories. Ask people to tell stories about someone that left a mark on you.” This could be very rewarding or cause a lawsuit.

 2.    “Remind people of old friendships.” Just remember that some people choose to forget and some people have no choice.

 3.     “Talk about old songs or sporting events.” It’s easier with a six-pack.

Kurt Vonnegut said it best: “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” I prefer keeping sweet memories in my mental museum.

Esther Blumenfeld (I’m not who I used to be, but my earrings still fit.)