Great Performances

After a morning of reading about China’s foreign policy, an afternoon of story writing, and a bout with arithmetic (preparing my taxes), I just wanted an evening of television entertainment.

Fifty years ago, FCC Chairman, Newton Minow said, “Television is a vast wasteland.” Now it’s even vaster and more wasted, but some shows are still worth watching. However, on this particular night, they were not to be found. I think if I could have combined some of them, I might have watched; “How the “Pickpocket King“ met your mother”--- the “Mob Wife” at “Bad Girls All Star Battle.” Or, I might have watched; “The Bachelor”---“Finding Bigfoot.”

“Bizarre Food” shows can be fun. However a “Texas Garden” usually won’t grow “chopped pickled sausage,” and I’m sure a Texan would shoot a “squid whelp snail.”

In a “Face Off” there might be a “New Girl” who becomes a “Person of Interest” and then a “Trophy Wife,” after a major “Wife Swap.”  All in all, the “Fashion Police” might have enjoyed fixing the “Collateral Damage” with a makeover on the “Survivor.” Oh, if I only had the intestinal fortitude to watch that show!

Getting desperate, I almost watched, “World Gumball,” and “Hardcore Pawn,” but didn’t think I could take the violence of “Shocking Hip Hop Moments.” It was getting late, so I decided that “Moonshiners” had the right idea, and I made myself a cup of tea with honey and a shot of whiskey.

Instead of watching, “Dog With a Blog” or “Ink Master,” I decided to have “The Last Word.” I turned off the TV and instead of “Counting Cars,” I went to bed, counted a few sheep and fell asleep.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll watch “Storage Wars” instead of peeking at that “Iron Man,”Wolf Blitzer in the “Situation Room.”

Esther Blumenfeld (“I Can See Clearly Now”) Dr. Wayne Dyer, PBS