GETTING OFF THE FENCE

Often, making a decision is difficult. I’m not sure that Queen Elizabeth chooses her own hats. It would be so much easier if she could blame an underling on the day that she looks as if someone had dumped a plate of spaghetti on her royal head.

I recently realized that I had fallen into the trap of over thinking---worrying too much about the future---about decisions that I may or may not have to make. I have vowed to stop driving my friends crazy. I have made the decision that by not making a decision, I am making a decision. Richard Bach said, “The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, “I’ve got responsibilities.” However, like it or not, everyday we are confronted with choices.

A newly wed once told me, “Being married is great! Finally, I can have cheese and popcorn for dinner without my mother scolding me.” Often choices involve how much you want to get out of your comfort zone. As far as I know, the young bride never fed her husband some crispy grasshoppers, but, sadly, the marriage didn’t last.

Mr. Google gives us these rules for making decisions:

1. Think about what you are doing before you do it. My husband and I came to Tucson in the summer. The temperature was 105 degrees. We bought a house in a week.

2. Avoid rash decisions. When our son, Josh asked us. “What did you do on your vacation?” My husband said, “We bought a house.”

3. Don’t over think. It causes stress.  Our son was speechless for the first time in his life.

4. Trust yourself and have faith in your instincts. We loved our realtor, Diane. She invited us to her home for a party. She and her husband went to San Diego for the rest of the summer, and we stole many of their friends.

I always told my son, “Are you going to regret the choices you made, or the ones you didn’t make? Follow your dreams while you are young,” Consequently; he pursued careers in science, journalism, flying, theatre, meteorology, and television. As a Science Writer for NASA, he has been able to combine many of his past experiences, and he better never say, “I wish I had.” Flying lessons were, of course, the hardest on his parents.  When I asked him, “How are the lessons coming along?”  He said, “Great!” but I have to perfect my landings.” A mother does not want to hear that!

Everything in life is timing. Playing the, “Would’a, Could’a, Should’a“ game is not productive. There is no time machine to send us back. The best I can figure out is that it is always a good idea to base my choices on the facts at hand rather than fiction, and to see the big picture.  If that doesn’t work, I can always toss a coin.

Mark Twain said, “People fall into three categories: Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. And, those who are left to ask, ‘What happened?’”

Esther Blumenfeld (“ If Pavlov tested his cat, he would have failed.”) Patrick H.T. Doyle