ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

Before my annual physical, I went to get blood drawn for the tests that had been ordered. Although she had a terrible headache, the blood lady found my vein and the withdrawal went without a hitch. As I left, I suggested that she take an aspirin and put a cold compress on her head.

The following week, I arrived at the Doctor’s office for my exam. The masked nurse, who had a bad cold, ushered me into the examining room. After she measured my vitals and gave me an EKG, I suggested that she might try some saline nose drops and take an antihistamine. I also told her to avoid going to the bank for awhile.

After she left, the doctor entered the room.  He told me that he had just recuperated from a bad case of the flu, but not before he had infected his entire family when he went to visit them in Chicago. He added, “They told me to never come back again.” I told him that he didn’t look so good and needed to get some rest.

When I checked out, the receptionist told me that she had a sore throat. I suggested tea with honey and a dollop of whiskey, but to forgo the whiskey until she got home.

Now that I think back on my adventure, I realize that I was the healthiest person in the office. I think I will send them a bill for all of my medical advice.

Pass the hand sanitizer please!

Esther Blumenfeld