VINTAGE WHINE

Ponce de Leon searched for the legendary fountain of youth. It was supposedly located in a land called Bimini. He never found it. Today, some people are flocking to Queens, New York enticed by the prospect of living longer.

Dr. Alan Green has no fountain of youth, but he does prescribe two off-label drugs that he claims could possibly delay aging. George Burns said, “If you live to the age of 100 years, you have it made, because very few people die past the age of 100.”

Although there’s little evidence that healthy people can benefit from his anti-aging remedies, Dr. Green (who is 76—going on 77) has taken the drugs for three years. The last doctor who experimented on himself was a Dr. Jekyll. As I remember, he developed a split personality and grew lots of hair after dark.

I don’t know why some people consider aging as some kind of disease. Admittedly, although it’s not contagious, everyone seems to get it.  I’m not sure that aging really matters unless you are a rare cheese.

In 2019 it is claimed that “80 is the new 60.” Pooh! 80 is 80 no matter how you cut it, and no magic pill will turn back the calendar. Plastic surgeons can help a person defy gravity, and fancy face creams will lighten your wallet. To be extremely thin, a green kale shake for breakfast can make you nauseous enough to avoid further calories, but no matter what, with each passing day, we are all going to get older.

People say to me, “You don’t look like 82.” What is 82 supposed to look like? I don’t know because I’ve never done it before. And, right now I am working on 83.  Too many people put so much effort in trying to turn the clock back, that they forget to enjoy today.

Woody Allen said it so well, “You can live to be a 100 if you give up all the things that make you want to be 100.” We know that yesterday is gone, and even with a lot of planning we don’t know much about tomorrow, but we do know that today gives us the opportunity to plan to live as well as possible—to make the most of what we have with a positive attitude.

You don’t have to go into space as John Glenn did when he discovered, “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.”

Might as well enjoy life while we can!

Esther Blumenfeld