WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

I can’t imagine that anyone wants to be confronted by an angry phlebotomist, but that’s exactly what happened to me, last week, while having blood drawn in preparation for my annual physical. In all fairness, the blood lady, usually sweet and friendly, had just returned from a two-day vacation, and her substitute had changed the password on her computer as well as re-arranging her supplies, so naturally she was upset, and—lucky me—I was her first patient of the day.

This technician is very good at what she does, so the needle went in at first poke, but while siphoning blood from my vein into tiny glass vials, her cellphone rang, and it was her boss, whom she had been trying to reach. Consequently, this was the strangest one-handed blood draw I had ever experienced. After a heated exchange with the person on the other end of the conversation, she hung up and mumbled something about quitting. I said, “I hope you won’t do that before you remove the needle from my arm.” When finished, she withdrew the needle and twisted a bandage very tightly around my arm.  I was so grateful that it was my arm and not my neck. This experience did remind me of the time the phlebotomist had no fingers, but that’s another story.

So, this event got me to thinking about other times I had unexpected experiences, such as the red-nosed waiter (not named Rudolph) who couldn’t stop coughing as he brought me my soup.

Or, a friend who asked me to tell a joke about the punchline.

Or, when I took a train from Washington, D.C. to New York City with my son and daughter-in-law, and when we arrived, and jumped into a cab, and my son said, “Please, take us to the Brooklyn Hilton,” and the taxi driver replied, “Where’s Brooklyn?”

When I was a kid, my parents sent me, for a week, to the the best summer camp they could afford. I thought the out-houses quaint, and enjoyed paddling about in the swimming hole until I got out of the water with leeches clinging to my body. The counselor said, “Don’t pull them off,” and proceeded to burn them off with her cigarette lighter. Ah, the good old days in South Dakota when people could smoke.

All of us hope for uneventful airplane trips and pray that there won’t be any disruptions Does a screaming toddler in the middle seat count?

I have experienced  the surprise of a dog owner who said, “Don’t worry, my dog never bites.”
Who would have thought?

And, don’t you just love the, “Back in five minutes,” sign.  Five minutes from when?

I once took a hike in the mountains after the weather lady on TV promised, “It’s not supposed to rain until tonight.” Unfortunately, she hadn’t said anything about thunder and lightening.

And, as a young bride, when I made my first meatloaf, I certainly did not expect my husband to drink three cups of it!

Yes, indeed, Life is full of surprises. As Steven Wright would say, “If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain.”

Esther Blumenfeld