HALL WALKERS

It is now the end of  September and the weather in Tucson, Arizona is still unseasonably hot. However, I’m not sure with climate change what season means anymore. It is cool enough to take a morning walk outside, and hot enough in the afternoon to take a dip in the pool, but unless I am doing Yoga in my living room, or dancing in my kitchen, the only exercise I have left, in these pandemic days, is to walk the many halls in the building.

Yesterday, I took the elevator to the Club Section on the 5th floor, which is really the 4th floor, but people think it is the 5th floor because their apartment numbers start with the number 5. They tell me it has something to do with the slope of the land, but standing outside the building, all I can see are 4 levels—not 5.

Anyway, when stepping off the elevator on maybe-5 there is a beautiful living-dining-room area, and a mystery unmarked door.  I know it’s not the Unisex Bathroom that has a sign,”currently out of service.”  I have one of those near me too on the kind-of-3rd floor. Obviously, they don’t want any unisex people to use it, because all of these bathrooms have been “currently out of service” for 12 months. There is no mystery door on my floor.

I did ask one of the other hall walkers about the mystery door on almost-5, and she told me, “It’s locked. The thermostat is in there, and they don’t want us to adjust it, so they have it hidden.” A whole room set aside for a thermostat. How fancy!  Well, after all it is the Club Section.

Next, I walked on the 4th floor which is really the 3rd floor. I have a friend on that floor in the Club Section and her balcony is two levels up…kind of like being on 2 but after all  it’s the slope, and the numbers on that floor all start with the number 4, so it must be 4. It is a very nice floor, but there is no special room for the thermostat.

My apartment number starts with 3, so I must be on the third floor except the swimming pool is on that floor and it looks as if the pool is on 2. Also, some apartments are next to the sidewalk. That is some slope! All of this strange numbering is very confusing which is cruel because some old folks are already confused.  To make matters worse, all of the carpeting in the halls are the same except those that lead to the Assisted Living wings.  They are exactly the same except the line down the center is a golden color (like the yellow brick road) otherwise the carpets are identical.

Some apartments on all the floors face a lovely courtyard.  It is called “The Events Plaza.” Because of the virus there are no events on the Events Plaza except the occasional dog that poops on the artificial grass. The Plaza is on level 2 adjacent to the lobby where people enter from the parking lot.  There are apartments on level 2. They start with the number 2, so I know that level 2 is not 1 even though you enter from the parking lot.

One of the 4 restaurants on maybe-2 is open for dinner.  Seating is 6 feet apart from each other and since almost everyone wears hearing aids there’s a lot of “What?” in the conversations.

I have discovered that there are faithful hall walkers. One man walks relatively fast and his girlfriend chases him up and down the halls everyday. One lady is not fond of the artwork on the hall walls, and another woman claims that the pattern in the carpet makes her dizzy. I suspect she is that way without the carpet. Sometimes, I can spy a mini cocktail party in one of the nooks and crannies of a hall. People manage to have fun no matter what.

But, I still wonder what else is in that secret room on maybe-5. Is it the lady or the tiger?

Esther Blumenfeld