IT'S ALL IN THE LANGUAGE

To begin with, I don’t speak Computer. However, I can manage bits of German and Spanish, and I am able to pray in Hebrew. I thought I was fluent in English until I was confronted with Computerese. I didn’t even know there was such a word!

Consequently, when I was notified that the Squarespace Security System on my website needed to be updated, I tried to contact, “Squarespace Computer Care”, and I was notified that their e-mail was no longer accepted, and that the phone number was no longer in use.  This foreshadowed a rocky future, since I had reached the limit of my expertise, and I realized that I would need help from an expert.  Unfortunately, because of COVID-19 no computer geeks were allowed to enter the premises.

Happily, I was informed that folks in the Community Life Department at my residence could help with computer problems, and that Ami, the beautiful art teacher, was also an expert in computers. She took pity on me, and was able to put me in touch with Squarespace.

April 6: “Thank you for getting in touch. Your site is built on our legacy platform Squarespace 5, so your case will be escalated to that team.” (GOOD!)  “Note: escalated cases can take more time to resolve—no matter how hard you pray even in Hebrew.”  (NOT SO GOOD!)

April 13: Not hearing from the “team” I wrote a letter to the CEO of Squarespace. In desperation, after citing my problem, I added, “In case it helps, my son went to the University of Maryland too.” He never answered my letter. So, I am sure that Mr. CEO graduated at the bottom of his class.

April 15: “Thank you for your patience.”( INHALE. EXHALE.) “I am your specialist, Katey. To add an SSL certificate on your site you need to first update your Domain’s DNS records. However, it looks like your records are mostly updated.” (THANKS TO BEAUTIFUL AMI.)
“But you need to remove the legacy A-record pointing to this value: 65.39.205.54.” (IS SHE KIDDING ME?) “Then once updated, set to ‘High’ which will generate an SSL certificate. However this won’t happen unless your Domain DNS settings are set up.”

“I hope this is helpful.”

April 17: “Thanks again for your patience” (KATEY GO SUCK AN EGG!) I can confirm you have done everything correctly. It should be okay in about 72 hours. Get back in touch so we can double check.”

April 20: Nothing changed. Back to aggravating Katey.

April 21: “Thanks again….After  consulting with our engineering team, it looks as if your Domain, GoDaddy is stopping this from processing. To resolve this, reach out to them to remove the CAA record from your account.  If you are interested you can read more about CAA records here: (I’D RATHER VISIT THE TRUMP PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY.) Get back in touch if you have more follow-up questions.

April 27: At that I found the phone number of GoDaddy, the folks who preserve my website name,  and I contacted some kid hunkering down in his living room in Scottsdale, AZ. I told him my sad story and asked him to; “Please remove the CAA.” He said, “Yep,” “I can do that. It’s done.”

April 29: From Katey:  “Glad it’s working for you. Get back in touch if we can help with anything else. We’re always here to help you.”  
Some help! I haven’t read instructions like that since I read, “Double, Double Toil and Trouble” in Macbeth. Those witches would have been great with computers.

Esther Blumenfeld