TURN OFF THE LIGHTS

Having house guests from out of town is a great pleasure for me, and I always enjoyed entertaining the many friends who visited and stayed in our home over the years. However, when my husband and I moved to Tucson, Arizona, we were warned that we will encounter people who want a place to stay in the winter, rather than especially wanting to see us.

I scoffed at that, until I received a phone call from a woman in Atlanta, Georgia. I wasn’t sure who she was until she reminded me that we had met at a party several months before I had moved to Tucson. I remembered the party. I did not remember her. She gushed, “My husband and I are coming to Tucson for a week. We would just adore spending time with you.” At that, I replied, “How nice, and where are you staying?” I never heard from her again.

The strangest encounter with house guests was a story told to me by some friends who were hosting a fancy party in their home. Their out-of-town in-laws were invited to stay with them. They arrived the day before the party. That evening they all went to bed early, because of the many preparations ahead. The next morning, my friends entered their kitchen, and discovered that the kitchen walls had been painted an electric blue. The in-laws had painted them during the night as a nice surprise. The day of the celebration was spent repainting the kitchen walls, and the evening was spent entertaining unsuspecting party goers.

Then there is the problem of guests who won’t leave.

I never had a problem with guests who overstayed their welcome, but I am  part owner of a very large house that has had many guests over the years.  Happily, not one of them has stayed longer than was expected. Unfortunately, there is a guest staying there now, who just may overstay his welcome, and refuse to leave. A guest who is no longer welcome, and won’t leave, is technically a trespasser.  So, how should I, and my fellow owners of the house, handle the situation should it arise?

First of all, we must make sure that the trespasser knows that he is no longer welcome. It can be difficult to tell someone, whom you have previously given permission to stay in your house, that he must go somewhere else. If he won’t leave, I guess changing the WI-FI password might work. Stripping his bed while he is in it seems a bit drastic, but taking the key and changing the locks is a possibility.  Things can get tricky if the houseguest has paid any money toward household expenses, because then he may be considered a tenant. I don’t think that this will pose a problem.

Here are a few polite ways to get a guest to leave:
 
Remind him there is an end time on the invitation.
Start helping him to pack.
Throw out the hamburger wrappers and put a lock on the refrigerator.
Politely ask him how he is getting home.
If all else fails, bring out family movies of the people who were guests in the house right before he moved in.

Finally, you have to be prepared that he may be a bit upset—all a-twitter and sputtering tweets. But you have to be firm and let him know he has over stayed his welcome, by saying, “It’s not working out anymore, and we can’t afford for you to live here any longer.”

If none of these suggestions work, call Truly Nolan and ask them to bring an extra big sprayer.

Remember: “Every house guest brings you happiness. Some when they arrive, and some when they are leaving.” Confucius

Esther Blumenfeld