THROW OUT THE TRASH

Finally, I can throw away my old bathing suit. The chlorine in the pool did a number on it last summer, but I have been waiting until January 20, 2021 to get rid of that suit since now I  don’t have to drown myself.

Things  are beginning to look up for everyone except our former President, who leaves office in deep doo doo. Speaking of doo doo, now we taxpayers will save $3000.00 a month on toilet fees for the Secret Service Personnel, who, since September, 1917 were not allowed to urinate in one of the six bathrooms in Ivanka and Jerad’s house. Those good folks were allowed to protect and defend but not to pee, so we the taxpayers paid $100,000.00 for them to use the basement bathroom in a neighbor’s house.

But back to our former President. What is he going to do with all of his free time, since no one seems to want him around? His neighbors at Mar-A-Lago have given him an eviction notice, and the Scots informed him that he isn’t welcome at his golf course in Scotland, because “golf is not an essential activity.”

Granted, some of his disciples have sent him their Social Security Socialism checks that might help pay for his transportation from court room to court room, because his $400-million in loans are due (among some other incidental problems). But, without his tweeting and twiddling what else can he do with his spare time?

Perhaps, now’s the opportunity for him to begin planning for a Trump Presidential Library. He can display two books—-his Upside Down Bible, and “The Art Of The Deal.”  Perhaps, he can find another co-author for a sequel called, “The Art of the Schlemiel.” To decorate the wall, he could hang the fake Time Magazine Cover that kind of featured  him as  “Man of the Year,” something that really never happened.  

Another room could be papered with his tweets and pictures of him shaking hands with his favorite world dictators. And, he could even display the  medical records he dictated to his doctor—“Healthiest Man To Ever Become President.” He could also feature a bottle of gloop that the doctor claimed he drank to grow hair. Of course, the Cognitive Test he “Aced” to prove his mental stamina should be included—“Person, Woman, Man, Camara, TV.”

The Truman Library in Independence, Missouri has papers and photos of the President’s involvement and decision making in the winning of World War II.  Trump’s Library could feature his decision making and photos of some of his followers trying to start the  U.S. Civil War II.

Bess and Harry Truman are buried on the grounds of the Truman Library. Perhaps, Donald can discuss that possibility with Melania.  However,  first, he should see if she is wearing her red $1500.00 shoes with taps on the toes.

Esther Blumenfeld