STAR SAILORS

In 1986, congressman Bill Nelson spent six days orbiting the earth aboard the space  shuttle Colombia. Today, he is the new head of NASA, but he still doesn’t consider himself an astronaut.  He recently said, “I reserve that term for my professional colleagues.”

Not so much for the super rich who pay $55million for a passenger seat into space. You betcha’ they call themselves astronauts. They figure if they can buy a seat, they can buy a title. With that kind of money, they could buy every ticket in a football stadium, the stadium itself and the team. However, even if they buy a team there is no guarantee that they will buy a winner—nor have they earned the title, “Coach.”

For $55million the super rich could live on a cruise ship for 124 years, but they couldn’t buy the longevity, and even if they took the title, “Captain,” they’d still have to know how to navigate the Panama Canal.

It seems to reason that for $55million an affluent person could buy at least 50 senators and a handful of  congressional representatives. Unfortunately, senators always come at a higher price, but even if you’d call yourself, “President” it doesn’t make it so.

Just think that for $55million a super rich-nick could star in his own film, give himself an academy award, and call himself, “Mr. Right Stuff,” and then there’s the bargain that for $500,000 he could buy a top of the line Lamborghini, and for that kind of money not even be required to spell it right.

In Greek mythology Icarus, the flyer had wings made of feathers and wax that melted when he flew too close to the sun. The moral of that tale is that ambition can lead to unexpected consequences.  

More than 12,000 people have applied for NASA’S upcoming class of astronauts and 12 will be chosen in December. They are training for the job and some will fly into space with specific assignments. The difference is that they will be assigned to fly whereas very rich passengers are really just along for the ride.

Extinguishing a campfire does not make that person a fireman.
Removing a splinter from a child’s finger does not make that person a surgeon.
And, singing in the shower does not make anyone a rock star.

It takes 1 1/2 hours to orbit the earth. It takes less than 5 minutes to write a check. In Australia a quality hit man only costs $45,000. What a bargain! And, you don’t even have to go along for the ride.

“I figured it out. I figured it out.  I figured it out.  
With a pencil and a pad I figured it out.
7 1/2 cents doesn’t buy a heck of a lot,
7 1/2 cents doesn’t mean a thing,
But give it to me every hour, Forty hours every week,
And that’s enough for me to be living like a king.”

(THE PAJAMA GAME, Richard Adler, Jerry Ross)

Esther Blumenfeld