BEING A BETTER PERSON

The Jewish New Year 5782 has arrived. I said to my son; “Josh, we are a very old people.” He replied, “Not all of us, Mom!”

Celebrating the arrival of a New Year is easy considering everything we went through during the last one such as; pandemic, fires, floods and kids running around the house, while parents, handcuffed to computers, were working at home. On the bright side, a New Year can be filled with hope for better days to come.

BUT! a week later, Yom Kippur arrives. It is the day of atonement, when a person is required to take responsibility for his or her actions, and think about all of the crappy things he or she might have done (or said) and ask for forgiveness for being a jerk. That’s not an easy task, especially when you are a perfect person. It is always so much easier to blame other people.

Fasting (no drinking or eating) is also suggested while trying to become a better person. There are exceptions— if you are pregnant or taking medications— or if going without food makes you extremely cranky. I think I made that last one up.

So, here are some of the things one might not only have to think hard about, but also ask for forgiveness:

Have I ever sinned by thinking, saying or doing something bad? Well, that certainly doesn’t leave much wiggle room!

I must admit that recently I have had rather evil thoughts about some politicians, but if I would ask for their forgiveness, they would surely put a price on my apology and ask for a donation.

Among many traits that I abhor is being a liar, and I try to be as truthful as possible. Sometimes that is very difficult, because it calls for a choice that could hurt another person. Consequently, I must confess that sometimes I’ve made the choice to play with the truth. For instance, one afternoon, I attended an extremely painful violin recital of a dear friend’s
10-year-old son. The sounds coming out of that violin would have knocked the angels right off of Jacob’s ladder. I was amazed that the strings withstood the torture.

After the ringing in my ears cleared up, my friend, who had a big smile on her face, said,”So what do you think?” I looked at her, paused and sincerely replied, “You must be very proud of him.”

On another tack, I don’t think I’ve ever abused my power, because I really don’t have any, but I must repent because I did  profane in a colorful manner when I stubbed my toe.

All of my life, I never did disrespect my parents. Can’t say the same about teachers. However, I can rationalize it because my award-winning-professor-husband always said, “ There is no such thing as a bad teacher.  If he is bad, he’s not a teacher!”

 I also don’t think I have dealt treacherously with my neighbor, unless under-baked banana bread counts. Sometimes I am confused. When does information become gossip? I guess repeating something good about someone never hurts.

I do try to forgive people if they hurt me, because looking at the source, I know that usually it’s not intentional, and it’s not worth losing a friendship over carelessness. In other cases I can simply dismiss it as plain stupidity. However, when I was a little girl, I came into the house crying because my friend Leigh Ann had bitten my arm. My Uncle Harry roared, “I’m going to kill her!” He never did, and I never forgave him—but not so much with Leigh Ann.

It is definitely a good thing, at least once a year, to consider becoming a better person. However, since none of us are perfect, invariably we will make mistakes. Consequently, it is equally important in life to forgive ourselves.

Esther Blumenfeld