DELIVER ME

I finally have had enough! For the last several months the new newspaper delivery person has decided that the morning paper should be delivered in a different time zone. Her “service” has been so bad that she didn’t even dare to put a tip envelope, with Holiday good wishes, in the December newspaper. I’m sure she didn’t want anyone to know where she lives.

Delivery to my Senior Residence is easy. All this person has to do is to get out of her car and dump the papers into a wheeled cart at the lobby entrance. Years ago, the little boy on his bicycle had a much more difficult time. He had to pedal and throw from house to house. Here the Concierge delivers papers to our apartments.

As a former journalist, I am painfully aware that print newspapers may become a thing of the past, but I also know the value of supporting a local paper.  Yes, I know that I can read the news on my computer (as I do with the Washington Post) but I want to read The Arizona Daily Star with my morning coffee.  Losing subscribers may mean losing local news since the paper is already printed and delivered from Phoenix.  And, NO, it is not the fault of the truck drivers, because the problems only began with the time challenged new “delivery” person.

After getting no response  to my complaints from a phone robot or by computer, I decided to trick the robot in order to get a real person. Consequently, when the robot asked “How many days did you not receive your paper?”  I responded, “600.” At that, the robot paused and said, “I will transfer you to a customer service representative.”

A little night music and and then, “Lo and Behold”, I heard an actual man’s voice thanking me for being a subscriber since 1994. I think that my subscription is older than he is, but he was most sympathetic as I relayed my sad story, and added, “There are at least 50 or more subscribers in the building, and you might not want to lose them.”  When he suggested that I read the paper on my computer I responded, “Old folks like print papers, and I have noticed that my young friends who read their papers on the computer often miss something, because they ask, ‘Where did you read that?’ It’s called skimming. There is still something to the value of print.”

Finally, the young man said, “I have forwarded your complaint and the issue should be resolved.” I asked him, “Where are you located?”  He said, “The Philippines.” I said, “Then you aren’t anywhere near Arizona.” I’m not sure he knows where Arizona is on the map.  Of course, I’m not sure that many Arizonans know where Arizona is on the map.

Finally, I thanked him and said, “If the paper is still delivered late, I will come to the Philippines and get you.” He didn’t seem worried. After a week of no improvement, I now understand why the Arizona Star Newspaper Complaint Department is in the Philippines. However, there is some comfort knowing that my newspaper subscription is a little bit cheaper than a year’s worth of toilet paper.

Esther Blumenfeld