IT'S A PUZZLEMENT

“Sometimes I’m confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn’t obvious.” (Michael Stipe, lead singer R.E.M.)

My problem is that I think a lot.  If I’d stop doing that, I’d probably not be so confused about what is happening around me. For instance, I find it confusing that gun owners don’t need a license to own a gun, because people are required to get a license to catch a fish. Trying to find an answer I re-read the Second Amendment of the Constitution, and now I get it! We have a well-trained Army, Navy, Marine Corp and Air Force, so we don’t have to worry about an uprising of fish.

On a simpler level of confusion—Question: In a cookbook, what’s the difference between, “Serves Four,” or “Four Servings?” Answer: (that I came up with) inviting four football players to dinner.

Here is probably the worst question someone can ask you— “So tell me, what do you think?” I have discovered that the least confusing way to handle that question is to not give an answer, but just smile. They will assume that you are a deep thinker. That is always better than saying, “The answer is crystal clear,” because Pawan Mishra suggests, “Isn’t life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions?”  If a leader in finance and technology can say that, I don’t have to be so perplexed when my checkbook doesn’t balance.

Also, voting is now high on the bafflement meter.  It seems as if the mantra of many politicians these days is: “If you can’t convince the public—confuse them!” Then voting becomes so complicated that there are no longer any game rules in elections. Consequently, the fact that every citizen should be allowed the right to vote is often tossed to the winds of mistrust. Some people don’t want voting machines while others want to reject the U.S. mail-in votes, and others want to remove polling places. It is so confusing. Is there an answer?

Perhaps we should return to a vote by hand, but since the majority of people in the U.S. are right handed the lefties would have a justified case for the Supreme Court. I am guessing that the Supremes— in a vote of 6 to 3— would approve of the sticking out of tongues, one tongue for “Yes” and the forked tongue for “No.” Consequently, with the exception of the tongueless,  the “Ahhh’s” would win lickity spit.

Finally, to quote the paragon of virtue, Johnny Depp, “I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.”  I don’t know much about Johnny Depp’s face, but I do know that confusion can also be a good thing when it leads to a clearer mind and to the truth— as long as we don’t confuse what we wish for— for what  really is.

Esther Blumenfeld