Watching Paint Dry

I complained to a friend about the agonizing process I have to go through while trying to get a production for my most recent play. She tried to comfort me by saying, “I read that it took one playwright 20 years to get his first play produced.” I replied, “I don’t have that much time.” Barbara Johnson said, “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.”

My mother used to say, “If you are patient when untying a knot, you will be patient with your husband.” Obviously, she never heard of the legendary Gordian Knot that was so impossible to untie that Alexander the Great supposedly sliced it in two. I think that is where the expression, “thinking outside the box” originated.

I agree with Dame Edith Sitwell who said, “I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.” It’s been said that good things come to those who wait, but I don’t want to wait so long that I’ll be too old to enjoy them.

Young people today are masters of instant gratification. They are the “I want it now!” generation. So how does a parent teach patience to a child who’s been raised on instant messaging and fast food dinners? And, does patience really matter?

In the 1960’s, a Stanford University Professor tested the will power of 4-year-olds. He gave them some marshmallows and told them they could eat one right away, or if they waited 15 minutes, they could have two---and then he left the room. Observing the children through a one-way window, he discovered that only 30% of them could wait. I guess they figured a marshmallow in the hand is worth 2 in the bush, and how long is 15 minutes anyway to a four-year old?

Over the years, he kept track of the children and found out that patience and the ability to wait might predict later success in life. Those who waited were more positive, better motivated, had higher incomes and healthier relationships. I wonder if he had a control group of children who didn’t like marshmallows.

Of course, hard work and patience can pay off in musical or athletic training---or when tackling any new task. My 84-year-old friend Fay brags that while patiently following the instructions of a new phone friend from India, she crawled around the floor under her desk, sweating profusely, while disconnecting and re-connecting all kinds of wires to fix the glitch on her computer. I think she should have bragged about getting up off the floor.

Steven Wright suggests that the next time you are stuck in traffic, miss a flight, or are waiting in line at the post office, be patient and remember that, “the sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.”

Esther Blumenfeld (“All things come to him that waits---provided he knows what he is waiting for.”) Woodrow T. Wilson