A LITTLE BOX

For all of you fellow non-Geeks bear with me when I quote you the definition of a modem.
“A modem is a portmanteau that enables a computer to transmit data over (for example) telephone or cable lines. Computer information is shared digitally whereas informations transmitted over telephone lines is in the form of analog waves. A modem converts between these two forms.”  Got it?

Well, I still don’t understand what a modem is, because I don’t speak the language,  but I do know that mine had the capacity for driving me crazy. It began with my printer. For some inexplicable reason sometimes my printer would fall into a coma. Everything else worked—the TV, the computer and the telephones—but my printer just stared at me with its one green eye and refused to print. At that, I would call Comcast (my provider) and the good folks in Guadalajara would re-set the modem and all would be well.  

After a week of calling my Mexican friends, and improving my Spanish, my telephones let me know they were too busy to let me make calls.  All I got was the busy signal. Again, I called Comcast (this time on my Verizon cell phone)  and  reached a nice young man from Columbia. He told me he’d re-set my modem, but that I should unplug my phone from the back of the box. First I said, “I don’t do that,” but he gently urged me to go ahead. Magically, my phones stopped stuttering and the dial tone was back.

When my desktop computer rebelled, I called and ordered a visit from a super-duper technician. They told me he would come in the morning, and I suggested that he either kick the hell out of my modem or bring me a new one.

While waiting for him to arrive, I got to thinking;  “Why, in this age of technology, are there so many equipment failures?”  Washing machines spin the clothes until they refuse to do so, and air conditioners wait until it’s 110 degrees outside to quit pumping cold air.

An, “Oh, So Smart, Watch” can diagnose a health problem you might not even have. For instance, while bending over to tie your shoes, the watch could surmise that you have fallen over and need help immediately.  I have a friend whose watch detected “heart fibrillation.” She went to the cardiologist who monitored her for a week, and then recommended that she not take medical advice from her watch.

Driverless cars are running over people in Arizona, but then so are cars with drivers in them, so you can’t really blame that on technology, and a box of shoes can be dropped at your front door by a drone, unless you open the door at the wrong time.

Ah! progress! The Comcast expert came to my home on time. I told him of my many calls to Mexico to re-set my Modem because of my comatose printer, my busy phone and my temperamental computer. For some reason, my television sets seem to have a life of their own and weren’t affected at all.  I also told him that when I last called the nice fellow from Columbia the green light on the modem had not come on again. Now it was, for the first time, a white light. He said, “Is it green a lot?”  I said, “Yes, most of the time.”

“Well,” he replied, “with most things, green is a good color, but not with modems. It means, you need a new one.” Luckily, he had one with him. So, now I have a modem with a white light and all is well.  I always thought that green meant “go,” but with modems it obviously means “gone.” Who would have thought?

Esther Blumenfeld