HAND IT OVER

It’s a very slow news day when half a page in my newspaper is dedicated to the “do’s and don’ts” of hand washing. The other half is an advertisement for window replacement. Since I tend to wash my hands more often than replacing my windows, I decided to read the article on hand washing first. By now, you, my dear readers, should have figured out that  I read everything.

The first information that I gleaned is that the best way to avoid washing your hands is to never touch people, surfaces or objects throughout the day. However, if you do any of those things it is impossible to keep your hands germ free.

The article suggests that you should always wash hands before preparing or eating food,  using the toilet, changing a diaper or petting an animal (such as a hippopotamus at the zoo). It adds, that if you look at your hands, and they are downright dirty, like the rest of your body, it might be preferable to take a full shower while washing your hands.

The article goes on to tell us, “How to wash your hands.”  “It’s generally best to wash your hands with soap and water.” The author doesn’t say if it’s okay to use soap without water or water without soap, but he did write that the water should be clean running water—either hot or cold—which means don’t wash your hands in the toilet while you are cleaning it.
“Rubbing the hands with lather vigorously” is recommended along with “scrubbing all surfaces of the hands.” I examined my “hand surfaces” and only counted two of them—-back and front.

Rinsing well is recommended and then drying your hands with a clean towel. I guess that eliminates wiping your hands on your jeans. I often do this when there are no paper towels in public restrooms. The author reminds us that, “kids need clean hands too.” Duh! To add to the fun, he suggests that the child should sing the HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG not once, but twice, to prevent rushing.  Have you ever tried to stop a kid from singing that blasted song once he gets going?

Obviously, frequent hand washing is the best way to prevent spreading illness. Now with clean hands, I can, in good conscience, read about “windows that live up to strict quality standards.” But, first I have to get my magnifying glass to read the small print at the bottom of the page.

My research has proven that obviously, these days, writing about clean hands is all the news that’s really fit print.

Esther Blumenfeld