DAY OF THE MOON

Laughter makes the good times better and the bad times bearable.

My book OH, LORD IT’S MONDAY AGAIN (co-authored with Lynne Alpern) came from our humor column in  Business Atlanta Magazine.  For the column, I had written a parody on the non-existent book, “How To Lose Customers and Antagonize Them For Life.” For the bogus book, I had also made up an author named Manfred MacAbre, and a publishing house called “Flummery Press.”

The spoof book really hit a nerve, because the editors of Business Atlanta Magazine were swamped with callers asking where they could buy, “How to Lose Customers and Antagonize Them For Life.” One frantic secretary phoned and said, “I have scoured every bookstore in the city, and my boss told me not to come back to work without that book. So, to save her job, we decided to write a funny book about work titled, OH, LORD, IT’S MONDAY AGAIN.

Readers of my website, who have been with me for a long time, are already familiar with the book, but what I have never disclosed are some of the answers I gave to radio and TV interviewers when they invariably asked, “How did Monday get such a bad reputation?”  Of course the obvious answer would have been that, “Monday is the first day of the work week” but that is more of a tragic answer than a comic one.

George Burns said, “Ad Libs are always better when prepared ahead of time.”  I took this to heart, and last week while browsing through my work files, I found, hidden in back of the filing cabinet, some of the ad-libbed  answers I had prepared for interviewers so I thought it would be fun to share them with you.

HOW DID MONDAY GET SUCH A BAD REPUTATION?

“After six days of creation and one day of rest, even God had to get up on Monday morning and face what had been done.”

“It’s the second day of the week, and it will always come in second. That’s why people call it ‘Blue Monday,’ because consistently coming in second is very dismal.”

“Labor Day always falls on the first Monday in September. It is most ironic to honor working people on the day which symbolizes the last day of summer fun.”

“Historically, “Black Monday” happened on April 14, 1360, when Edward III decided to send soldiers out on a Monday during the Siege of Paris. Hundreds of troops froze to death in their saddles. It’s not even a good day for horses.”

“The idea to build the Edsel was proposed on a Monday.”

“While dusting a picture,  in his home in St Joseph, Missouri, on a Monday,  Jesse James was shot and killed by a fellow gang member. I guess that  means that you should never dust pictures on Mondays.”

Oh, Yes, “The Titanic sank on a Monday.”

And finally: “Monday morning quarterbacks always mouth off when your team has lost the game.”

I also found some other stuff in back of my filing cabinet, but will save that for another day.
In the meantime, as Queen Isabella said to Ferdinand, when Christopher Columbus asked for more doubloons, “Oh, Lord, It’s Monday Again.”

Esther Blumenfeld