TELL A TALE

Has anyone ever said to you, “Tell the story about—“and then she gives away the punchline?
Of course, the logical answer to her request is, “You just did!   Story telling is a creative art form, just like a classic piece of literature, art or music. It is important that a  humorous story be told well, and classic funny stories can be told over and over again, because they pass the test of time.

Good story tellers know how to manipulate a conversation toward a place where the story seems to be logical.  The worst way to tell a story is to announce it, because you are challenging people to laugh. The best way is to slide it in for a humorous home run. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s worth the risk. Also, the best stories usually have an element of truth.

My Father was a gifted story teller. He and Mom retired to Florida and lived near the ocean. One of their neighbors was a doting grandmother who enjoyed taking her little grandson to the beach everyday, and my parents took much pleasure watching the child from their balcony as he played in the sand.  He always looked so cute dressed in a sunsuit, and wearing his little hat, while carrying his little pail and shovel.

One day a storm suddenly blew in. The child was playing too close to the water, and a big wave washed him out to sea.  The Grandmother fell to her knees and implored God, “Please bring  my grandson back to me.  He is such a good child, such a sweet child, such a blessing!” And, like a miracle a wave came up, and deposited the child back on shore wearing his little sunsuit, and clutching his little pail and little shovel.  At that, the Grandmother fell to her knees, threw out her arms, looked to the Heavens and cried out, “He had a hat!”

First time I heard this story it was told by Zero Mostel on a TV talk show.  Lucky for me,  no one can take a copyright on a joke. The comedian, Milton Berle was famous for his files of “stolen” jokes. However, if someone steals a complete comedy routine, he could be facing a lawsuit.

I must admit that sometimes I get some of my best material just eavesdropping on other peoples’ conversations.  I figure if people are talking loud enough for me to hear them—Go for it!  And, if they are talking softly, I can always turn up my hearing aid. There seems to be good material all around me.

Four men, who live in my senior community, enjoy eating dinner together. One evening I overheard them having a one-ups-man-ship argument about which one of them had the, historically speaking, oldest profession. They are all retired—an agronomist, a doctor, an engineer and a local politician.

The agronomist said, “My work is the oldest. When God drove Adam and Eve out of Eden, he told Adam to til the soil so he may eat bread by the sweat of his brow. So, farming is the oldest profession.” The Doctor said, “Well, if you are going to go back that far, you are still wrong. In the Garden of Eden, God anesthetized Adam, and when he was asleep, took a rib from his side to make Eve. This is the oldest record of a surgical procedure.” The engineer then said, “Well, even before that, the Bible says that God separated the sky from the earth, and the sea from the land—both first rate engineering jobs.” The politician, quiet so far, finally spoke up. “Gentlemen, you are all wrong. Very early in the Bible we read,’In the beginning there was Chaos.’ Who do you think was responsible for all that Chaos?”

There you have it! Some old stories do pass the test of time.

Esther Blumenfeld