SMART, SMARTER, SMARTEST

Amazon has invented a smart shopping cart. It has cameras, sensors and a scale that will keep track of what you are buying, and then charge your Amazon account when you leave the store. No need for cashiers. Bummer!  I don’t have an Amazon account. I don’t want an Amazon account, and I like my cashiers.

The grocery store is one of the few places left where I get a friendly greeting from a nice clerk who recognizes me.  Often, when I call a business, the mechanical voice on the other end claims that I am a “valuable customer,”but I have to listen to a lot of gobbledygook before talking with another mechanical voice who thanks me for my business, and tries to help me, but usually can’t, and asks me to wait for a human being who is handling 155 calls before mine.

I know that  instead of going to a store, I can order anything I want on my computer, but already I am communicating with too many inanimate objects in my home. For instance, after my printer spits out a piece of paper, I always pat it and say, “You can go back to sleep now.”

My friend, Paula was in the passenger seat in a car, that Fay was driving. Paula was talking with Siri, the voice on her Apple Tablet, when Fay said, “I am so upset.” Whereupon, Siri said, “I hope you’re not mad at me.” These are such nice women that I am sure they reassured Siri, who is obviously very sensitive.  

But I digress: Even though I don’t have an Amazon account, I do have questions for the inventor of the smart cart:

If you throw an umbrella into the cart, will you get charged for it?

If you have two kids, and one sits in the cart, and the other in the handle section on top of your purse, do you get charged for all three or only the two kids?

Does an alarm go off if you mistakenly walk off with the wrong cart?

Is there a limit on how many e-mails and mailings you will receive after the cart tally, of the products you are purchasing, is passed on to sellers?

Can the cart choose what you should buy if you forgot your shopping list?

I don’t know if you have to push these carts or if they wheel themselves, but I assume that the more gadgetry the more expensive they become, and I assume that they are waterproof if left out in the rain. I hope they are insured against roll-aways in the parking lot.

 Since a screen near the handle lists what is  being charged, I suspect that carts will get so smart that they will spit items out of your cart that they think aren’t healthy for you. Perhaps, someday there will be  a vegan cart for vegetarian purists.

Now we have smart phones, smart carts, smart cars, and smart watches. Also computers are getting smarter and smarter and so are our television sets.  Oh, Boy!  Now, if someone could invent smarter people, we’d really be on to something.

Esther Blumenfeld